


My Lover From The Stars

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Angst, Black Romance, Dominance, Drama, Levi-centric, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Love, M/M, Masochism, Pain, Prostitution, Psychotropic Drugs, Romance, Sadism, Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Suffering, World War II, shijae, why am i even doing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:58:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1257118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just as World War II ends, Europe tries to repair it's self from the devastation of the Nazi's. To Levi, Englishman Erwin Smith had always been a star too far from his reach. He always settled for the comfort of the German brat's bed followed by a morning of self loathing. His heart however always remained with Erwin.</p><p>In which Levi makes himself suffer, Eren watches in love, and Erwin never says his own feelings or notices until it's too late. Levi works as a famous ballet dancer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blinded

**Author's Note:**

> Another mess of words that hopefully come together nicely.
> 
> FYI - I do not speak French and this won't be too accurate during the times. I hope nothing is too far off. If you notice anything absolutely ridiculous, please inform me!

Levi Rivaille had suffered through the occupation of France. It was like the swift tidal wave no one expected. It completely turned his life upside down. One morning he was Paris' most loved ballet dancer and the next he was scum no one would even touch.

Being unemployed and suffering from mistreatment, he had been forced to do many unthinkable, unimaginably foul things for money to scrap by. He had grown a reputation of some sort in the slums of Paris as "un gigolo", "un Don Juan", or sometimes even "un prostitué". He usually scoffed and laughed the insults away. The Paris Opera House had closed or housed soldiers during most of the Nazi occupation--if the only way to make money was to sleep with desperate lonely German women and horny fucked up German soldiers, who was he to complain if it kept him from the poor house? 

He hated every moment of it. He hated when the rowdy soldiers would poke fun at him, toss him to their friends or talk about what a enjoyable fuck he was. The woman were more tame, more civilized but sometimes they did the crueler things. One noble lady had put her cigarette off on his arm and threw the money down. He grew to make a shell around himself. In the nights when he was alone in bed he would look out the shitty window of his cheap, rutty, and worn down flat wondering what was beyond the stars. Why wasn't it in his reach? Instead he was sitting in the foul aftermath of paid fucking, on crumpled sheets, smoking a cigarette wondering when his life had turned into 50 shades of fucked up. The heat of that summer was unbearable. He often leaned out the shitty window and looked onto the streets of Paris at the kids running around or the ladies gossiping in their dresses that cost enough to keep him fed for weeks. How was this fucking life fair?

A pair of warm lips touched his spine and he pulled away in irritation. Didn't the brat know by now he hated the lovey cuddling after fucking? It wasn't necessary when Eren would just leave his money on the dresser like he always did. Levi didn't want to be pulled into some fantasy it wasn't. Why hadn't the brat gone back to Germany?

"If I left, you would be terribly lonely right?" Eren asked his French so heavily accented Levi didn't know why he even tried sometimes. He sounded like a fucking idiot most of the time.

"The French hate you, the German hate you. You don't have anywhere else to go but in my embrace you uncultured swine. There isn't a place besides my bed you belong." Levi said turning flicking the bud of his cigarette to the side of the room. "Didn't you foresee the punishment of being a swindling bastard? You are lucky the Yankee bastards haven't thrown you in prisons."

Eren's grin became devious as he wrapped his arms around the Frenchman. During the war, Eren had sold things hard to come by to both sides. A bottle of wine that had been nearly impossible to find with the Nazi taking all the good things and rations only giving people barely anything. He had found weapons and sold them. Food, metals, clothes. Anything you wanted Eren had sold. The young 20 year old had made a fortune in the war and people resented him for it. But they wouldn't do anything about it as long as Eren paid some silly fees and donated a few million here or there. Levi hadn't asked him where he got everything he had sold nor did he care. Eren was just like him--doing what he had to.

"But you don't hate me. And that's all that matters." Eren said back as he pressed a firm kiss against Levi's lips. "Why don't you come back to Germany with me? I have a home there. We can live comfortably. Maybe a few dogs, you can be taken care of, and more importantly you wouldn't hate me."

"Don't confuse the sex with feelings German brat." He said to the younger man. What did a nearly 34 year old dancer look like becoming the official mistress of some wealthy young German man? He wasn't anyone's bitch. "Get your shitty ass up and get out. I want to sleep."

"And I want to fuck." Eren said to him lowly, his hands getting more frisky. "Do you see anyone else still? Have I scared all your admirers away?"

Levi smiled. If Eren was good for anything, it was keeping the others away. It meant he didn't have to warm anyone's bed but one person's. It was preferable this way. Eren was a jealous brat. As long as Levi stayed his favorite, he didn't have to worry about his bills or anyone else wanting to sleep with him. "No. But I still want to sleep. Go. You always come and expect me to entertain you multiple times."

Eren left. But, not without leaving the folded bills on Levi's dresser. It wasn't love but it was conventional he supposed. It suited him now. Once he got enough money he wanted to leave Paris. He wanted his own ballet school. Maybe somewhere in England or maybe even The States. Though his reputation was known in France, he doubted it would stop him from setting up a successful school anywhere else. Before his name had been tainted with prostitution he had been a god of the ballet.

Black and noble-less was the remains of the night to Levi. Transfixed into a misery, self hatred seeping from the small man's body that laid limp in the bed. He cried sometimes. He shouted others. Sometimes he drunk heavily or if he was lucky he would find someone selling something that would make him feel alive again. It got like this at times. So consumed with how worthless and dirty he had become, he got sick. He would scrub his room for hours until his skin turned raw and his cuticles bleed. He became consumed with cleanliness. That if he was physically clean that, it would somehow clean his soul too. He could pretend the dirtying of his body had never happened. He lost himself in that darkness. It seemed endless and pathetic. Like no light from the stars could pull him out. There wasn't any redemption.

Meeting Erwin seemed like more shit than he could handle. It didn't take very long to lure him into his bed. He didn't have to pay though. The way his large hands fit across and in Levi's body was enough to make the horrible memories go away. Once they were done, Levi would smoke and Erwin would talk. Sometimes Erwin would talk about England or sometimes even his own life. Before he knew it Levi found himself dreaming of Erwin's life mixed with his own. Until reality hit him and he remembered what a ugly mess that would be.


	2. Ascending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We hurt each other so many times  
> Unable to understand one another  
> Even then you were always kind,   
> Engraved in the ring you sprung upon me,   
> Our promise remains unfulfilled  
> "Even now, I remember... "  
> \- Gackt ‘Last Song’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another mess of words honestly. I will hopefully make this all come together in the next chapter will more present day things with Eren, Erwin and of course Levi. :'3 How do you like it so far?

"Is it too hot for you?" Erwin didn’t get a response like usual nor did he think he was going to. 

It was so hot he could feel his pulse beating in his veins everywhere. In his chest and more fiercely in the pit of his stomach. Steam rose up off the foamy bubbly surface of the water, which swished whenever one of the two bodies deluged within it moved. The rose scented water was comforting to Levi who was so rarely at ease.

Levi could feel skin against his sides from where knees touched him, legs spread out in front of him from the body that reclined at his back. They were longer than his, more elegant and manly in bone structure. Noticing things like this unnerved him because he usually didn't care for something as commonly unsightly as legs, but there he was looking at them through the water as if they were something crafted by some God who thought it would be nice to humor Levi into hating himself even more by making Erwin so beautiful and flawless. 

The warmth of the lips against his skin felt nice. Levi didn’t say much but with Erwin it wasn’t really necessary. They just had a way of saying the unsayable with their body language. Everything was really predictable--well, almost everything. The way Levi’s small body fit between Erwin’s powerful thighs made him feel so weak and helpless at times. Erwin often lost Levi to his own thoughts, always prying on the edge of sanity where Erwin patiently waiting for him to return.

“Why do bother with me?” Levi asked finally speaking what was on his mind. It wasn’t insecurities. It was his reasoning. Levi, who had nothing to offer Erwin. He stiffened in Erwin’s arms like something Erwin would say would piss him off/ Like Erwin was a coiled snake ready to attack at the beaconing of Levi’s worries.

It was a complexing question. Erwin couldn’t simply answer it how couldn’t he be with him? That would disappoint Levi and then make him over think and question everything. Though his lover acted like a fierce and tough man the truth was Levi was extremely doubtful in Erwin’s ability to see something worth loving in the self conscious man. Erwin’s lips parted against Levi’s wet shoulder blade, the words low and warm against Levi’s skin, “I love your icy blue eyes when they melt for me. I love your stubborn mouth when you submit to me. I love your tough exterior when you show me how caring you really are. I love you because you make getting up another day worth it. You make me feel important. You make my day a little less gloomy. Most importantly, you make my heart flutter uncontrollably when you smile.You’re the type of love I would die without.”

Levi didn’t respond. Erwin honestly didn’t expect him to.

“Do you remember when we first met?” Erwin asked him softly, his arms moving tightly around Levi in the small western styled bathtub. “You were out drinking and had fallen ill in the streets. I fell in love with your angry eyes then. I took you home, took care of you since you had gotten sick, and somewhere while you were delirious with fever I confessed to you.”

“You were crazy to take a stranger in you shitty fool.” Levi muttered.

“You got better, I begged you to stay. You took over my home. Cleaned, cooked, and took care of me then. You would act all hard and reclusive but I knew you liked me at least a little.. Or else why would you stay?”

“To stay out of the cold.”

“I swore I would follow you when you decided to go.”

“You were crazy.”

“I love you because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be you and I wouldn’t be me. I was meant to love you.” Erwin said firmly. His fingers tightened around him, his lips now pressed to Levi’s wet neck. The smaller man smelled like roses and a distinctly masculine smell. Delicious. “I don't mind if this body burns, as long as it's in tribute to you I'll ascend, pure white, to the heavens to protect you.” Erwin quoted Levi’s favorite song.

“Erwin, you are the purest man I know.” Levi said as he turned in the tub, the water sloshing against the sides as his arms wrapped around his lover’s neck. “You don’t mind me? The way I am that is--the cussing, the anger, the pain and all my morbid thoughts? You don’t mind that I bring so much insanity to your life? Petra would love to marry you. Crazy fucking Hanji would even die at the chance. Or some nice girl. Why choose me? You know I am not faithful to you.”

“I don’t love anyone else. Levi, don’t question yourself. It may seem unreasonable to you but maybe you're the pure one to me. You always say what you think, you love me despite the fact I burdened you with my feelings since the beginning, and gave me something to live for. You are unbelievably strong and talented.. I often wonder why someone hasn’t stolen you completely. I do get jealous of your Eren but I am not threatened. How could you love him when you’re so reluctant to love me?.”

“Sometimes I feel as if you’re the biggest fool I know.”

“Don’t you find it more romantic? To love you for your flaws? Wouldn’t be terribly unpoetic if I loved you simply because you were perfect. To me, loving you because you get angry easily, because you have a temper, and bluntly honest just means I love you more than if you didn’t. I accept you for who you truly are and not some fantasy I conjured. Loving you inspite of…”

“Isn’t it hard?”

“Should it be easy, love?” Erwin asked leaning his lips up against Levi’s for half a second. “If it was easy it wouldn’t be nearly as rewarding. I almost died when you firstly hinted towards enjoying my company. It was as if time stopped and all things seemed so worth it.”

“You don’t regret me? Not one second? Even when I use you?”

“Only that I didn’t make you mine quicker so I wouldn’t have to see that German brat cling to you.” Erwin admitted. “Why must you keep your relations with him? I offered to let you live with me.”

“I am not a damn bitch Erwin.” Levi’s voice was more shrill, “Neither you or Eren have any right to tell me who I belong to. You come here to sleep with me, he comes for the same. You just have little delusions about what we will become.”

Erwin’s eyes hardened as he touched a wet hand to the other’s cheek. “Do you want me to be honest? I would rather destroy Eren. I would crush any man who had less than pure intentions with you. But, I try to treat you like you want to be. Not how you deserve. You want me to be detached, uncaring, and simply here for your body. You don’t let me take you out. Then you throw me doing as you want in my face like I am a bad guy. Levi, have you ever thought the war has left you so fucked up you cannot see a good thing when it comes?”

Levi’s lips thinned. He pushed against Erwin’s chest done with the bathing. He got out and grabbed the robe. Who was Erwin to scold him? What did he know? Levi hadn’t chosen this life--that was for fucking certain. He hadn’t asked those countless, faceless people to fuck him for money. How could the American golden boy understand? Erwin had a steady job, a soldier. He had a wealthy American family back in the states. Levi had nothing. His choices to not be serious with Erwin were his own.  
Eren understood this relationship. Eren might not like it but he was smart enough to keep all the sentiment and emotions on the low. Levi grabbed a robe and wrapped it around himself as he went to his shitty room. Didn’t anyone get it? It wasn’t very hard. Levi didn’t do long term relationships. He was aware this would all end and he would be alone again. No man could promise him anything. Hell, sex with men was already bad enough. Being a fucking whore was bad enough. To be shameless and take something some decent woman could have was beneath him. He wasn’t that low.

“Levi.” Erwin was getting out, wrapping himself as well following the man out. His eyes were clouded with his fucking emotions. So easy to read; like a fucking book.

“You keep trying to make me into some shit I am not Erwin. I won’t ever be anyone who wants you like you want me. I say this bitterly. I enjoy your company sorely because you’re a good fuck.” Levi said lowly, “But you and I will never be anything other than that. You spout nonsense about liking all my flaws… Erwin, what person cares for a whore? Are you stupid?”

Though everything Levi said was out of hatred Erwin didn’t know how to explain at moments like this he got so uncontrollably sad. Yet, he managed to fall deeper in love with the cruel Frenchman.

“And if I am stupid? Will you throw me away?”

 

“Go to Petra. She’s waiting on you to get over your infatuation with me. It’s wrong to keep her waiting.” Levi said as he gestured dismissively with his hand for the other man to leave. “Get dressed and go. My mood is no longer good.”

Erwin didn’t speak. He just did as he asked. But not without casting Levi one more lovesick glance.

“He’s a fool. If he hasn’t learned who you are by now, he’s an utter fool.” Eren said later that night.

“Shut up. Just put it in and hurry to leave.” Levi snapped by.


	3. Black and Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was frightened of every little thing that I thought was out to get me down  
> To trip me up and laugh at me
> 
> But I learnt not to want  
> The quiet of the room with no one around to find me out  
> I want the applause the approval the things that make me go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short, sorry!
> 
> busy with midterms, a essay in Chinese, a convention, cosplay, and other nerdy things ;; college sucks.
> 
> I am wondering what y'all think should happen o":

Erwin was patiently waiting. For something from the other male, any indication he cared as much as he did. He invested himself into what was Levi--he expected at least a glimpse of his own dedication back. Just for Levi to show he cared a little.

Sometimes Erwin felt as the other man did care. Then Levi would notice his walls were crumbling a little and pull them back up more fiercely than before. Erwin loved him, he truly did. But the endless game was becoming tiring and rather discouraging. How long would he be forced to chase after a man who had no intention of being caught? He didn’t want to give up..but sometimes it seemed like Levi wouldn’t ever accept him.

So he stopped going by. If Levi cared a bit, he could always visit him. He not only he knew where he worked but where he lived. His door was always open, Levi just had to step through. He knew it was completely foolish waiting on a man who wouldn’t ever come.

xoxo  
Levi knew Erwin must be angry. It became evident when a day or two went by with no word from the tall, handsome blonde man. What was he suppose to do? Suddenly change himself to please the man?

He tried to not think about him. He really did. But every inch of his shitty apartment held reminders of where the blonde had laid naked, or made Levi breakfast, or kissed him against the wall so hard Levi’s lips had bruised. Why did Erwin make him out to be the bad guy? Didn’t he see he was saving him? Eren was shit, he was a crook just like Levi. Erwin had a chance for a normal life. Petra, kids, a nice big house. Levi would always be on his back for someone. Maybe have a school for dance one day but forever completely a fuck up. He couldn’t erase his past. It was carved into who he was, a unchangeable and undeniable factor that made him himself.

“Aren’t you being a little cruel?” Armin had asked. Armin was the blonde twink bitch living next door who whored out to some wealthy heir named Jean or something. They were similar but so different. “He cares about you.” He said one day catching him in the hall, inviting him over for tea. Armin was someone he could talk to without feeling pathetic.

“Would you accept Jean if he confessed to you?” Levi asked suddenly.

“Jean and I aren’t like you and Erwin. There aren’t any feelings in what we do. Just convenience.” Armin smiled sadly. “Jean often reminds me. Erwin showers you in romance and love. I am actual quite angry with you. For not accepting him sooner. He has it all. Money, looks, and love for you enough to deal with you.”

“Should I be insulted you shit?” Levi asked. “I never promised him anything.”

“Aren’t you afraid eventually he’ll get tired of being a fly caught in your web?” He asked. “For Erwin, I can only imagine he is feeling like he’s being played.”

“He isn’t stupid enough to expect anything from me.” Levi murmured but he wasn’t so sure anymore.


End file.
